What is early attachment trauma?

So perhaps you’ve read that we are early attachment trauma therapists, but what does that actually mean and does it apply to you? Early attachment trauma is the traumatic experience of having absent, abusive, and/or inconsistent caregiving in early childhood and it’s more common than you might think.

Sometimes it’s obvious that we grew up with inadequate care, but other times it’s more subtle.

Do I suffer from early attachment trauma?

Here are some helpful guiding questions to deciphering whether or not you’re experiencing early attachment trauma symptoms as an adult:

• Do you hold resentment towards your parents?

• Do you idealize your parents?

• Are you stuck in the same negative patterns in your relationships? (avoidance or anxiety)

• Do you feel triggers intensely in your body? (tight chest, shaky hands, numbness)

• Do you find it hard to get close to people and trusting others?

• Are you often afraid of being abandoned by those you love the most?

• Are you sometimes impulsive and engage in self-sabotaging activities? (risky driving, substance use)

If you answered “yes” to a few of these, you might be living with early attachment trauma symptoms.

How does early attachment trauma happen?

The idea of early attachment trauma stems from Attachment Theory: a psychological framework that helps us understand how people connect to others. According to this theory, infants depend on their caregivers for survival and this is their. Disconnecting from a caregiver means death for the helpless infant, so humans have an innate drive to connect with their caregivers. If a caregiver is not able to connect with the infant in a safe and secure way, it may cause attachment trauma as the infant interprets disconnection as deeply threatening.

In the best case scenario, we have warm and nurturing parents that can make us feel safe and cared for. People that get to grow up in these types of circumstances grow up with what is known as a secure attachment style.

Early attachment trauma occurs when a parent is abusive, neglectful, unavailable, and/or inconsistent with their ability to show up as a safe space for the infant.

It’s important to note that many people living with early attachment trauma may not be aware that they are because painful patterns are familiar and normalized from an early age. Those living with early attachment trauma learn to accept less from themselves (and sometimes less of themselves) because of the disconnection they experience at infancy.

How do we heal from early attachment trauma?

The first step to healing is identifying that there is a problem.

Many adults find out that they have been living with early attachment trauma the hard way after a painful rerun from one relationship to the next. Because of repeated cycles (begging people to not leave, feeling disdain for people’s emotions), it becomes clear that it is something unresolved inside that is the common denominator.

It might feel painful to admit that you’ve been living in a loop. Accepting that this is not your fault, but it is a growth opportunity might be helpful. It is never too late to understand yourself and heal the inner child that was always yearning to be held.

Healing from early attachment trauma may include:

• deep introspection

• growing self-awareness and self-compassion

• grounding in the body’s innate wisdom to warn

• relationship building with our wounded inner-child

• reparenting the younger parts that yearn for connection, but were never shown how to

• allowing ourselves to unburden from the traumatic memory of our past

Are you ready to begin your journey to a lighter tomorrow?